Friday, March 30, 2007

P.S. Chinese Torture

one other thing about these forturne cookies from Aunt chin. As legend goes: a long time ago, in the palace of the king lived a pug named poo poo. (Which is also the origin of poo poo platter but that's another blog). He was the most courageous and strong of his breed but would bark at every thing. wind. whispers. bees. whatever. so the king figured out that by placing the whole forturne cookie in his mouth, he had at least a good 4 hour nap until the cookie was moist enough to finally let way to the jaws for delicious chewing. this technique is still found in remote places around the world. it has now been passed down in American parents in the form of suckers, binkys, bottles and gobstoppers. peace, pizza, pugs Boo

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Chinese Wisdom from Aunt Chin






Clearly Chinese New Year was a ways back. But like always, I normally recieve gifts from the relatives a little late. Some because the mail can delay and some because my relatives have to save up enough money by selling chicken lips and occasional secret shopper jobs at the open air mart. Anywhoo. My good old aunt Chin never fails. she sent me a whole box, all to my self, fortune cookies. I was so excited. "Happy Chinese New Year" i yelled and danced, even though there was no one in the house. But I am sure that bastard cat across the street sunning himself heard. I'm sure most of you are accustommed to the fortune cookie tradition. Open the cookie and get a fortune. Simple. Well I was very excited. Here I am getting ready to open the first one. My silly mom was home from her Meat John and Joe show at the Fords Motor Company Theatre. And to my surprise the Great ancient wisdom from the cookie that has been passed down from years and years in secret dark hallways was pretty dumb. Things like "Confucius say, short-haired dog shed light on subject" or "Confucius say hot dog have warm buns." Wow, thanks Aunt Chin how exciting.
I don't know what got into me but as I was sitting and just watching this episode of this really smart, well-thought idea called something about Grease. I think it's called Let's get greased!!! anyway, they're looking for the next Dandy and Sandy in this show and I love it. It's really exciting to see each week, anywhoo, the gal I wanted to win got knocked out of the competition, all at once I bite into my cookie. oh my gosh, how dare they!!!!!!!!!! my eyes are glued in disbelief. in a hypnotic state i slide the blessing of blessing wisdom from out the cookie. "be careful where you poop, you could ruin your tomatoes". What???? What the...............? I kinda fell apart. First Melody gets voted out and Confucius say I should watch where I poop? I couldn't take it. I smashed it into little bit's like the mirror song in tommy. oh well. that's it. thanks Aunt Chin, who has many these days and thanks alot Confucius whom i think might be called Confusing. peace out, pizza crust and pugs. Boo-

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Coming Clean

Sorry fellow friends. Wow, what a roller coaster this has been. First, i'd like to appalogize for not being so uup on my blog. Blogging is sometimes a pain and lately, like the past 3 months, it's been a night mare. Everytime I go to blog something would stop my post from being posted. And I finally realized. I'm being discriminated against. WAIT, they know I'm a dog and they're trying to get rid of the canine bloggers club. AH HA!!! Well, lick my ball place. You can't do that. Any one is allowed to blog and complain and pee and laugh and bark where ever and when ever they want. It's America for Buddha's sake. And not to mention, when I check my comments, the comment are as follows: PLEASE TRY THIS NEW MIRACLE CREAM, IT WILL REALLY MAKE A CREAMY MIRACLE. OR. DO YOU WANT TO MAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS JUST BREATHING? WELL, BE A PART OF A BREATHING EXPERIMENT AND WE WILL GIVE YOU A DOLLAR EVERYTIME YOU LET OUT A BREATH. SNEEZING AND FARTING COULD DAMAGE THE CONTROL GROUP, SO IF YOU'RE A SNEEZER OR A FARTER PLEASE DON'T APPLY. OR THIS IS MY FAVORITE. VPT JJL 398YHASB APER8TYP . What the heck is that? A license plate in BUDDHA-pest? Come on crazy blogger stop trying to ruin my plan to enlighten the world, or at least virginia, or maybe King St. with the hateful comments and your testy ways to blog. I'm calling the mayor of........................the mayor of.........................of............BLOG PEOPLE. i mean BLOG ANIMALS. BLOG THINGS!!!!!and i'm gonna give them a peice of my mind cause they're really urking a peice of my tail. oh, well, that's it. i'll hopefully be blogging again soon. probably after the Blog Things Committee Group gets my gripe and sends me coupond for free Blog Things. Blog hats, Blog Thongs, Blog Blogs. I love it. See if you bark loud enough, someone's bound to throw you a bone, even if it's to shut you up.

Buddha's thought for the day:: Stop finding happiness in this blog. Your inner blog is waiting to be read and loved as well.