Unswallowing

12:05 p.m. I think Daddy went to work this mornin. Either that or he had to speak in church. He's been gone awhile and Mom has been away all night. Probably another night at "Wet". Anyway's I'm relaxing in my gorgeous crimson seat just beside the window secretly letting stinkers and smiling at all the yuppies outside. The window seemed a little cool to the touch so I reveled in the fact that I was cozy and content inside. After a few moments of bathing a few parts which probably should not have been (being by the window and such), oh well, I decided to see if there was just a crumb or two left over in my food bowl from last nights dinner. Upon arrival I noticed one of the strange shaped "cookie" things that they always leave me because they feel bad about leaving and they think that I like them. It only took one wif to know. Oh well. I'll just taste a little. Doesn't really taste like much I convinced myself so I carried to my seat and gnawed. It only took a few minutes to realize my swallowing. It seemed to slowly increase. Like when you get a hair in your mouth or when you smell chicken. All the sudden. I knew it. I was gonna get sick. What do I do? Maybe back in the food bowl. Screw that, that's where I eat! Under the chair, NO, they'll smell it. Downstairs?....Downstairs it is!!! I'll let it go in the closet right by the shoes and by the time they find it, they'll think it was perhaps related to a past gathering or from that horrible sewage backup last week. Down the steps I go. Into the walk-in closet. I knew I couldn't hold it much more. I swallowed and swallowed until I gave way and UNswallowed all over the floor right beside that one pair of shoes Daddy has been wearing since college that he really thinks are still in and none of his friends have had the courage to tell him otherwise. I sighed a long exhale and felt so relieved. Isn't it weird that everything that comes out of the body feels awesome. I won't list the items, but think about it. Sweat, Crap,etc...............Puke, tears............anyway, I decided to continue my lazy day on the crimson seat when I realized that someone stood over me. Oh shit. I bowed my head and tried to cut my eyes but couldn't. Turned and I could tell by the shoes. the boots. It was MOM!!! OOPs!! sorry, just a little puke. Well anyways, it wasn't as embarrassing as it could have been and Mom wasn't mad. She picks up crap for a living and there's a part of me deep down that think she likes it. Anyway, it's been a pukey day and for anyone listening, don't eat those little cookies that aren't. They're vicious little shit biscuits. Can't wait til dinner.