Spring Cleaning

Monday 10pm..........What an exhausting day. Woke up very early this morning. Had the day to myself. After the Same Sex Couple left, I caught a little more shut eye right by the beautiful skyline view of Fairlington. What a lovely scene of automobiles, pavement and arlington intellectuals. It was midday when I finally motivated myself to do something. I gave myself a quick PAT bath(Peeny, Ass, Titties) and then decided to go through my "wears". I hate doing it, but after awhile one does acquire too much. And as much as I hate to admit it, some of these garments given by my very loving "fruit loops", quite frankly might look much nicer on someone elses rack. I'm almost certain some of these "gifts" were borrowed from some summer stock storage somewhere and just never returned. Well, I just want to see what still fits, looks good or quite possibly is still "in. Ok, the truth is I've gained a few pounds and wanna motivate myself to go shopping or maybe go back on South Bitch.
This first Collegiate look was really cute when I had those Abbercrummie "Abs", but now it looks like something Mamaw made.


And this Orange Hawaii Five-O Magnum P.I. South Pacific Costume Peice clearly is something I might just have to keep back for the occasional "theme" party.










This black number is kinda cute, it does have my native language and all on the back.
However, as you will see, in the next shot, I believe this "thong" J. Lo look is out. Plus at my age should I honestly be wearing a T-back? .....and it's not even a T, it's a Double T, there's two freaking strings, it's a wonder I haven't whistled in public yet wearing this number...........But there is that annual trip to the Rehobreath Beach............Na, I'll just buy something else and tell the Happy Guys that I think I accidently chewed it or something. I might just save it for a rainy thong day, who knows.









Ok, the Hat Box: What the hell is this? Did I buy this thing? A red........Abu, from Alladin Hat? I'm gonna have to vote no, I think I look freakish,.........it doesn't really frame my face.....nor does it match any accesory I own. I guess I could keep it for the next "Shriner" convention, but this next hat takes the cake.
















I think this was definetly Summer Stock. With my dark Asian features, I never have been able to pull off the Mexican look. Might keep it for Sinko de Mayo.


















On to the Brown Wrap, The Turd Cape or as I love to call it The Sexual Chocolate Stole. I'm not sure if I should keep this one or not, but it is lovely on cool patio nights and is great for using the bathroom while staying dressed. I think I'll keep this one.
Finally, "ol faithful". This little red guy has seen it all. I know it's doesn't do a lot for me, but it fits well and feels good. Truth be told, I wore this guy on one of my specia

l evenings with my gal Sadie and I can still smell her Love Potion #9. So I think this is a keeper. Don't tell the "Dads". Ok, that was my day of Spring Clean

ing. I didn't find my Pugs for Peace T, if anyone borrowed it or something bring it back. There's a march in DC next month.

love, Boo

To S-

My dearest Sadie. It seems forever. Sorry about the delay, i've been busy acting like I'm interested in whatever is being discussed in the house. Dad's show closed, "Ever Or". Thank god, kinda depressing. Mom's been busy with the Day job. Met a new friend. His name is Fahred. He was in Dim Yank Ease with Mom and I think he makes wine. He smells of two felines but my allergies are getting better so I find it easy to snuggle with him after I get used to the smell. Saw old man Riggleman today and you know that joke we played when you over last month? Well, let's just say his bush is now brown and yellow and kinda dead. Felt bad. Acted like I was shocked when I saw it but I think he thought I looked suspicious. He totally knows it was us. So much for that contest in his garden. Ok, I'm still a little sore for losing. Miss you, hope all is great in Noo Yorck. It's been kinda cold here. Went on a walk today and it was a little too cold without my sweater. Mom and Dad sometimes forget that my tail goes up and not down. We're watching men's figure skating on TV right now. Gay, Gay, Gay. I'm pretending to be asleep for most of it. I did look up every time someone fell, thought it was funny. I think the skaters should be called "twirlies". I think it's fitting somehow. I know this is totally off the subject but I thought you looked awesome the last time you were here. You know I love it when you grow your hair out for winter. I'm sure you really turn some heads in the city. That's my "Sadie lady". I'm including a pic I took of you before you left. I think it's cute. That coat from Nordstroms is totally bitchin'. If you think of it, get your folks to get one for me. I swear I think all of my clothes are either found or stolen from some other mutt. I mean, ever since the fire and all, things have been a little sparce on my side of the dresser. Oh well, just a few more weeks and i won't have to worry about that red sweater that cuts up my back like a J. Lo thong and is so tight make my neck have more chins than a chinese menu. I miss you Sades and I'll talk with you soon. Please write and I'm still stealing change off the floor for our Toronto trip. Love, Boo P.S.- Some "twirlie" just fell. Fuckin' funny!!

Unswallowing

12:05 p.m. I think Daddy went to work this mornin. Either that or he had to speak in church. He's been gone awhile and Mom has been away all night. Probably another night at "Wet". Anyway's I'm relaxing in my gorgeous crimson seat just beside the window secretly letting stinkers and smiling at all the yuppies outside. The window seemed a little cool to the touch so I reveled in the fact that I was cozy and content inside. After a few moments of bathing a few parts which probably should not have been (being by the window and such), oh well, I decided to see if there was just a crumb or two left over in my food bowl from last nights dinner. Upon arrival I noticed one of the strange shaped "cookie" things that they always leave me because they feel bad about leaving and they think that I like them. It only took one wif to know. Oh well. I'll just taste a little. Doesn't really taste like much I convinced myself so I carried to my seat and gnawed. It only took a few minutes to realize my swallowing. It seemed to slowly increase. Like when you get a hair in your mouth or when you smell chicken. All the sudden. I knew it. I was gonna get sick. What do I do? Maybe back in the food bowl. Screw that, that's where I eat! Under the chair, NO, they'll smell it. Downstairs?....Downstairs it is!!! I'll let it go in the closet right by the shoes and by the time they find it, they'll think it was perhaps related to a past gathering or from that horrible sewage backup last week. Down the steps I go. Into the walk-in closet. I knew I couldn't hold it much more. I swallowed and swallowed until I gave way and UNswallowed all over the floor right beside that one pair of shoes Daddy has been wearing since college that he really thinks are still in and none of his friends have had the courage to tell him otherwise. I sighed a long exhale and felt so relieved. Isn't it weird that everything that comes out of the body feels awesome. I won't list the items, but think about it. Sweat, Crap,etc...............Puke, tears............anyway, I decided to continue my lazy day on the crimson seat when I realized that someone stood over me. Oh shit. I bowed my head and tried to cut my eyes but couldn't. Turned and I could tell by the shoes. the boots. It was MOM!!! OOPs!! sorry, just a little puke. Well anyways, it wasn't as embarrassing as it could have been and Mom wasn't mad. She picks up crap for a living and there's a part of me deep down that think she likes it. Anyway, it's been a pukey day and for anyone listening, don't eat those little cookies that aren't. They're vicious little shit biscuits. Can't wait til dinner.

R and R

It's 11 a. m. FINALLY!!!! The gay folks are gone. Daddy's off to the gay gold's gym and Mommy's quick at work picking up left overs. The most distressing thing this morning is the remote is way out of reach and one of these fuckers left on LOGO. Great another Foreign Gay Film Marathon. Today's list of things seen include: The UPS man, the Lesbian next door, a bird and that stupid cat from the neighbors that looks like an over-blown butt booger. I'm probably gonna spend the day napping. Kinda tired. The gays got home really late last night and kept me up bitching about Musical Theatre crap. My parents really need to get a life. I just found out this week that I was adopted. Kinda depressing. My real father is a black pug and my mom is a fawn pug. I guess that makes me blawn. Oh well. It could be worse. Still not sure how I feel about the gay folks but they feed me well and always have really cool stuff to chew on. Just don't want people to think that having gay parents make me gay. I'm totally into chicks. Speaking of chicks, I really, really miss this one chick, Eleasha who's got a great "rack". Nothing like a nice cushion for the naps, if you know what I mean. I think she's in Laska doing some musical about Air, that's what the gays say. Well, guess I better catch up on the shut eye since I never know how drunk the folks will be later, might have to take care of them a little. Hope they bring home one of those cheap pizzas from the Seven Eleven. Love em. Now it's time for a little peace and quiet and some zzzzzzzzzzz's with an annoying gay cable show.